Poem: Deja Vu

Tell me again why the Soviet Union fell?

It was the classic problem of guns vs. butter.
The US president, Ronald Regan, was committed to missile defense.
As the Soviets tried to keep up, their people had no bread on the table, no heat for their homes, their infrastructure crumbling, pensioners didn't get paid, working scientists didn't get paid, eventually it all fell apart.

Could that happen to us in the United States?
No, our economy can afford guns and butter.

I heard about the Satan II launch, will we be able to stop it?
Sure, we just need an entirely new class of interceptor!

How long would it take to build said interceptor?
We've been working on the current ones for 20 years.

So we have those perfected?
We're working on it.

That sounds familiar?
Nah, entirely different.

Satire: Citizenship Census Question

Ministry of Truth Mohuckabee Al Sanders

"This is a question that's been included in every census since 1965," Minister of Truth Sanders said Tuesday, "with the exception of 2010, when it was removed."

A timid reporter asked, wasn't 1950 the last time that question was in the census?

Our understanding is that the census collects no Personally Identifying Information, what we in the know call PII, answered the nation's senior truthteller.

My grandfather was put in a Japanese Internment camp in WWII, partly because the U.S. Census Bureau gave the U.S. Secret Service information about the whereabouts of some Japanese-Americans, cried a reporter from the Honolulu Craigsvertiser.

I've been told that's because they were Japanese, it wasn't personal answered, Comic Huckabee.

In the years following 9/11, the Census Bureau gave the Department of Homeland Security detailed information about the places where Arab Americans live. Why wouldn't there be a concern they would provide data to ICE?

Because the data is confidential. And we all need to understand we need as much accurate data as possible because we need to gerryman, er, apportion the seats in the house of representatives appropriately. After all, if congress loses trust in the census, we would have a real mess on our hands, so far as we know.

Poem: Lions and Tigers and Nazis, oh no

I read on Snopes just today:
Did David Hogg give a Nazi salute at the end of his "March for Our Lives" speech?

False, false, false, false, false! Thus sayeth the Snopes.
And I believe, throw me in the water!

But it's just a question! So is:
“Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”

But that was a long time ago!
So were the Nazis.

What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun.

Poem: The Coolest Monkey in the Jungle

Designing clothes with slogans is dangerous.
I ought to know.

There was a time we created a custom shirt for every event.
Seemed like one a week.

Once I uncorked some bottles to tease the muse of creativity.
My friends raucously helped me.

Our ideas were splendid, noteworthy, precarious.
Syn City polos under the nightclub's nose.

H&M scorched the earth in South Africa.
The coolest monkey that wasn't.

Retail is fickle, the first shall be last when the wallets snap shut.
One more dying big box in the jungle.

Poem: March 27, 2018

Are Stormy Daniels, or, Keith Raniere, false messiahs?
No, they are 15 minutes of famers.
But when we do get a false messiah, they'll make him look good.

Is Donald Trump a false prophet?
Anti-prophet, he is reliably wrong.
So, 1 out of 2 ain't bad?

What kind of sign should we be looking for?
A butch cut lesbian will destroy the constitution.
She was led astray by liberals. #Vorwärts!

Holocaust survivor Mireille Knoll was stabbed in Paris.
She knew one of her assailants since he was 7.
Hate crime, Allahu Akbar.

The Parkland students are making some sense.
There is money in the $1.5T to teach them CPR instead.
What if you knew her and found her dead on the ground?

Our rights are protected by the second amendment.
And that trumps the 10 Commandments?
They made Valley High School take those down.

It's my body, my choice!
It's wrong to shoot schoolchildren.
But OK to knife shred a choice.

For false messiahs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and wonders to deceive, if possible, even the elect.
Who are the elect?
They took the last train to the coast, the day, the music died.

Used popcorn never had it so good

Last night, hard time sleeping, hungry, trying to be healthy, made popcorn, that way I can control the salt etc. Couldn't finish it. Woke up this morning, walked by the bowl, grabbed a handful, SOGGY POPCORN, (we live by the beach in Hawaii, it is very humid).

What if?

1.5 cup used popcorn, strain out the old maids, (who came up with *that* term), salt and seasonings from the popcorn are welcome.
Good long spray from the Misto, (mine is set with olive and truffle oil)
.25 cup egg white, swirl around trying to moisten popcorn evenly
.25 cup shredded cheese, (gotta make up for the egg white)
PUSH it all down into a non stick skillet, (I think that is one of the two secrets to success)
Garnish with more shredded cheese, (you garnish your way, I'll garnish mine)
350 degrees for 30 minutes, ditch the pre-heat oven nonsense, set an alarm with Siri, went back to work. Alarm.

It was cooked. Cheese was melted, Kind of a cooked, semi-soggy popcorn, meh. BUT it was all in one nice flat congealed bundle. Cut into slices, put in Phillips Air Fryer for 10 minutes, Woooo Hoooo crisply deliciousness.

/ And yes, I know, I should have added .25 cup sprinkled bacon, someone please tell my doctor I am trying. /